RK Tip of the Week|How to be YOU in 4 simple steps

Posted on April 14, 2010


There’s an odd trend that’s been happening lately…maybe it’s been going on longer, but I’ve only been a self-aware, world-conscious adult for a few years now, so I can’t speak for many of the decades before this one. 

See if you can figure out what the common link is.

 “16 & Pregnant” is a show on MTV, the US housing & mortgage issues almost kill us all, & two-thirds of the country is overweight or obese. No, big bellies that eventually pop is not the answer. What we’re looking at here is 3 situations of people thinking of themself one way, then acting an entirely different way. Plenty of evidence proves these are not ideal situations & that they are easily preventable. Why did they happen? 

I’m not Dr. Phil so I’m not going to tell you why they still did something that didn’t align with who they saw themself as or any other psycho-babble. I’m going to tell you how to see yourself as what you’d like to be, then do things that reflect what you see yourself as & wah-la!…you become outwardly what you see inwardly. 

And if you’re neither 16, nor did you get affected by the economic meltdown of the last 2 years – then there’s reasonable probability that you may then be a member of that 3rd category listed above. And even if you’re in none of the 3 groups (go you!) you still will benefit from learning from these situations as you apply them to other areas of your life where you see yourself becoming “more”. 

Check it out – someone who gets pregnant at 16 & people who got caught with ARM mortgages & the like, made a choice along the way that was not in alignment with how they saw themself as a person. OR – they did not know who they were as a person & so had no wall to throw each decision against to see if it stuck with their true intentions for themself. And someone who’s 270lbs & 5’4” also made choices along the way that either did not match what they intended to be, or were made simply because that person did not know what they wanted to be so they chose anything that felt good at the time. 

Picture yourself healthy, no medications, no stupid habits like smoking, & exercising daily while managing stress well. Are you smiling in this picture of you our are you scowling because there is no joy left in your life now? The answer to this will be your answer about what you deep-down-inside believe yourself to have the potential to be. And if you’ve never seen yourself as a “fit” person or as someone who lives a health-conscious life, then you don’t have that wall to toss those healthy decisions up against to see if they will stick. And thus you may find it harder to make the healthy choices despite wanting deep in your heart to be someone who’s fit & healthy. So the first thing to do is determine if you do, indeed, want to see yourself as fit – and if you do, then do the following: 

1. Don’t go cold turkey. It rarely works. It took me 7 years of stepping down out of bad habits to be happy & honest that, “yep, the person I believe myself to be inside is the person that I am outside.” Do I have more habits to break & good ones to instill? Yep! Which brings us to #2. 

2. If you do it right, you’ll never reach your goal. Because you’ll surpass the first goal that you thought was your end-point & will sail past it to a horizon you did not see out there, way back when you started the journey toward becoming a health-conscious individual. A successful person is always seeking the next thing to accomplish but is also content & proud of the progress made to date. 

3. Don’t listen to the “cool kids” – they’re idiots. Just because you have the intention of being healthy & fit, and none of your coworkers, friends, or FAMILY do (biggest offenders ever on this one!), that does not mean that you should feel guilty about: a) going home early so you can get your workout in the next day, b) letting the team know that you need to eat certain foods when a work lunch is being ordered in, so thanks for acquiescing to that or else you’ll bring your own lunch, or c) cooking only 1 dinner that includes foods that will bring health & wellness to your family, if they don’t want it, they can sort something out for themselves then. 

4. Have some cahoneys because you’re going to have to defend your healthy, fit vision of yourself to any number of people along the way. And if there is a crack of belief in yourself, you’ll eventually cave to someone elses’ whims. But speaking from experience, they will stop giving you a hard time eventually & who knows!…you may even inspire some of them to start seeing themself as a new, healthy, fit person too!

All in all, if you don’t know who you want to be, figure it out so you don’t become a pregnant 16-year-old girl. And once you know – live up to that potential as often as you possibly can! There’s a sense of knowing & calm that comes with it that will make it so much easier for you to throw those decisions at the wall & see them stick.